Love in the Valley

Letting go of the things I can't control

Trusting you are in control

Not seeing your hand

But...hoping you have gone ahead of me

Trusting you are providing

Believing you are aware

But nothing points to you in this situation

Maybe I am not looking enough

My hope is failing

My faith is fading

Everything points to your absence

I see you in her life

You just gave him that

But my hands feel dry

my hands are dry

I am holding on to what you said

You said I am good

You said you are good

This situation is bad

I wish you were enough

I want you to be enough

But it is hard to be content in this lack

I am in the valley

I keep walking towards the shore

I see you

I know you are here

I get it

But... I am losing my mind

How do I believe in what I Know?

How do I action this fact?

Now you are smiling

Lying on the rock

Watching me

Why do I only ever notice you after all my energy is gone?

You were right there

You are right there

You never left

Lol

Actually, you went ahead of me

Waiting for me to see you

To spot you

*but this is not where is waldo*

Patiently waiting for me

To want you

To seek you

To see you

To desire your presence

Lool you are pettily humble, you know

You weirdly fade into the background

Only noticeable when searched for

Peacefully keeping a lookout

I love you Jireh

Why don't you ever leave?

Why don't you ever get frustrated?

Didn't you get tired of waiting?

Didn't you get pissed off when I walked away?

Lol

Now you are standing up and walking towards me

The roasted fish smells good

lol

How long did you wait?

This might be the best Mackerel ever

I start telling you about my journey

Trying to prove the reasons why

Hoping you get it

Guilt washes over me

Tears start flowing

I drop Nemo and stand to leave again

You hold me back

With the biggest hug

You hand me the living water

I drink with tears in my eyes

You make a shed out of the rocks

A place for me to lay my head in the valley

I lie down with my burdened heart

Holding on to you, Abba

How are you the only one able to satisfy me?

Weeks pass and I am not ready to leave

There you are

Still with me

Keeping me company

I try to fade you out like before

But you are like a beautiful gracious flower

Now that you have caught my eye

And I have experienced your beauty

Ignorance is Hell

We went for a walk today

Striding along

gisting

gossiping

laughing

learning

crying

smiling

sleeping

running

hiding

I attempt to leave you again

But this time I keep finding my fingers interlinked with yours

I long to go everywhere with you

I have fallen in love with you

I have gotten to know you

And I am mesmerised

You have my heart

What do I do now

I want to shout it out

At the top of my lungs

From the mountain top

To the lowest valleys

I have given you my heart

I thought love was like a thief in the night

Taking away a part of me

I was not ready to give

But I kept opening up to you

And...you kept waiting on me

I took my time

You helped

Not rushing me

I want to share you with the world

But also keep you to myself

I fell in love with Jireh

He waited on me

Drowning my fears in perfect love

What kind of love is this?

Lol... it's called agape

I am flabbergasted

He loved me first

From the mountain to valleys

From the valleys to mountains

And the path in between

I am overwhelmed

I love you

#staygraced

#begraced